Finding Solace in the Stillness: HONS 25O Final Project

      Today was another very busy day for me as I had a service event to attend and help out with early in the morning with Pre-Health Hub and the second and final day of the retreat I had for my job, which lasted basically for the rest of my day. I did enjoy attending these events and had a pretty nice time socializing with my friends and coworkers, but I also was extremely exhausted. When I had left the retreat in the night, I had went to boyfriend's dorm to spend time with him, and actually ended up completing the deep breathing exercise while I was there laying down. I was able to easily breathe and focus on myself and how I was feeling while also letting any negative thoughts pass by during the exercise, and I felt my pain easing while breathing, which was nice because I was an immense amount of pain as I have fibromyalgia and I experience flare-ups when I am doing something throughout the entire day. After the exercise, I was far more relaxed and had a bit more ener...

      Today was one of the busiest days I had throughout the semester, as I had a housing tour to give during preview day, a retreat to attend for my second job at the Inclusive Excellence, Education, and Development Hub, and a meeting to facilitate for Pre-Health Hub. Despite the busy day I had, I was able to keep calm throughout it, and was even able to lessen my anxiety about giving the housing tour as I had completed some deep breathing before it started. I have really struggled with public speaking in the past, and although I am much more willing and able to do it now, I also have been extremely anxious before doing public speaking which causes me to experience physical symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, difficulty breathing, nausea, and shaking, but since I was able to properly calm myself down with deep breathing, I did not experience any of these physical symptoms and was able to deliver all I had to say in a manner in which everyone could understand. Later in the ...

      My day today was better than the two days prior because I was able to work through the shock I experienced after my great aunt's death, and although I was still grieving, I was able to get out a lot throughout the day, be present in class, and talk to my boyfriend, friends, and family about how I was feeling, which really helped me relieve some of my sadness. When I engaged in the deep breathing exercise, the breathing was once again easier to complete because I used the breathing technique from the workshop I attended previously, and was able to sit with my thoughts and not let them take over my mind or mood by focusing on my chest rising and falling, and I was more relaxed with each breath I took. After the exercise I was much more relaxed and it felt nice to do something for myself after a busy day, which is much different from earlier in the project when the deep breathing felt more like a task to complete and check off to-do list rather than something I do for ...

      This day was just alright for me, as I had a lot of ups and downs throughout the day as I was experiencing periods of sadness due to the loss of my great aunt (which also reminded me of the loss of our family dog over the summer) and also a few periods of loneliness because I was particularly sad in the middle of the night as I was not out and about and able to socialize very much. I actually had engaged in deep breathing throughout the day because there were times where I was sad and close to breaking down despite working on coursework, which was also a newer experience for me throughout this project (and represents change in my ability to engage in self-care and manage my stress) because I often would wait to practice the deep breathing I do for 5 minutes, and I realized I could be doing deep breathing all day, which is far more helpful than doing it once per day. I also made sure to take it slow this day as well, which is also something newer for me because I usu...

    The day that I had was actually a pretty good day, I felt happy and was proud that stress and anxiety was not controlling my life for the time being, but around 6 PM in the night, I had received some devastating news. My mom had called me to let me know that my great aunt had passed away earlier in the day, and after that I was in a state of shock and sadness for the rest of the night. Right after that phone call, I found myself struggling again with the superwoman schema in relation to Black women and girls not prioritizing their well-being, as I had a community meeting with my residents at 7 and still was preparing to facilitate it, but I eventually had broke down and the people in our staff had comforted me and offered to facilitate the meeting instead. Although I was not wanting to miss the meeting, I had let two of my staff members facilitate the meeting, and focused on taking care of myself, supporting my family, and allowing myself to grieve for the rest of the nigh...

      The day I had did not really stress me out, which is nice because it was very busy and had exhausted me. Despite all that I had to do and all that I did in the day, I was once again not really stressed out, which shows that the gradual changes in my ability to manage my stress and have a more positive mood is starting to become more common each day. When I had engaged in the deep breathing exercise, I did not struggle with having a million thoughts ruminating in my mind, I was able to immediately just focus on my breathing through paying attention to my chest rising and falling, and felt myself become calmer as the minutes went by. After the deep breathing exercise, I knew that I had to complete some assignments before I went to sleep, but this did not stress me out, as I felt more energized, and this helped me finish the assignments quickly and thoroughly.