Ninth Entry (November 1st, 2021)

     On Monday, I was once again able to complete the deep breathing exercise while busy. After finishing up a large part of my sociology assignment, instead of immediately going back to finishing up my coursework, I realized that I was stressed, and needed to take a break, even if it was short. While I took this break, I had completed the deep breathing exercise while in my residence hall's office. Before I did the deep breathing for five minutes, I was extremely stressed out and anxious about all of the coursework I had to do, and my mind kept spiraling out of control, to the point where I felt like a failure for not completing my coursework the day before (even though Sunday was an extremely busy day). I have very high expectations for myself and feel that I cannot move on to the next chapter in my life without being exceptional at everything I do, and I believe a lot of that stems from witnessing Black women getting discriminated against in schools and in the workforce. I feel that if I do not work twice as hard as everyone else, I will not go on to graduate school to become a clinical psychologist, and that I won't create the life that I envisioned for myself. These thoughts often cross my mind daily and cause me a great deal of anxiety and stress, and I am starting to realize through practicing daily relaxation that I cannot just ignore these thoughts, I must address them and let them pass by, which deep breathing allows me to do. After completing the exercise, my mind was just focused on finishing my work and not failure, which helped me continue my work without being stressed.

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